Special Guardianship: A Personal Story

My husband and I recently completed a seven-year journey as special guardians to our niece, a time that tested us in ways we never expected. Taking in a child with trauma, without support from child services, while managing the legal complexities, family dynamics, and the needs of our own children, was incredibly challenging. But I was determined to keep her out of the care system, believing we could provide the love and stability she needed.

Throughout her time living with us we created a stable loving environment where we made sure we met more than just her basic needs. We looked at how we could support her to thrive and this included taking part in a number of courses. We made sure we did out best to get support from play therapists, other professionals and I spent a lot of time writing her life story book so she understood her own story so she could own who she is what happened and why. One of my proudest moments was when she stood up in class and showed her life story fully owning it and being proud of who she is.

I also spent a lot of time reading books on trauma and supporting ourselves so that I could help all of our family understand. I used a lot of this to support her father as he grew and developed and wanted to learn how to be a dad to his daughter again. This was integral to his personal journey and the effort he put in shows that with a vision, hard work and support you can make the transformation happen that you want.

Despite our best efforts, the strain on my health, marriage, and family became overwhelming. Realising that we couldn’t continue without sacrificing everything, we made the difficult decision to arrange for her to live with other family members and then go through another court process so she could eventually be reunited with her father. Though heart-breaking, it was the right decision for all of us especially her. I did have to grieve a child I loved and had put years of my life into. I had to face what we had done and put our family and children through – all the good and bad parts. There was so much healing to be done and this took a long time.

This journey was transformative. Coaching played a key role, helping me rediscover my identity, clarify my purpose, and set boundaries to protect my well-being. It taught me the importance of vulnerability, asking for help, and making tough choices for the greater good of myself and the people I love.

Today, I’m proud of what we did, and my niece is thriving with her father. This experience has made me stronger and more passionate about helping others avoid burnout, set healthy boundaries, and make a positive impact without losing themselves.

Through coaching, I’ve found balance and the ability to show up as the best version of myself in all areas of life. Life isn’t always easy and there are always challenges but when you know who you are and have the tools and support around you it is possible to still thrive.

Courses I have taken part in:

Supporting children who live with domestic abuse

Attachment courses 1,2,3,4

Theraplay

How to write a Life Story book

Trauma informed work

Safeguarding

Coaching and workshops for Special Guardians: Discover Your Inner Power and Thrive

I know first hand how challenging being a Special Guardian is. Coaching is a fantastic way to support yourself, understand your needs, put boundaries in place and thrive in this important role. If you feel supported you will be able to support the children in your care in a much more empowered and sustainable way.

Discoveryboard workshops are a time to step away from the chaos of life and be creative while tapping into you inner wisdom and learning more about your needs and desires and create some simple actions to support you on your Special Guardianship journey.